When I began this blog, I had every intention of updating and adding new content fairly regularly. I must apologize to what few readers there might be, or have been, but as many bloggers do, I became discouraged all too easily. Besides difficulty in building interest and traffic to my mundane little posts, I found it was hard to find things to 'talk' about as my life had been pretty - well - mundane.
Each day passed by, one tracking after the other in monotonous staccato as my family and I went about our daily routines. Somehow the uniqueness we all have as human beings faded and was lost in hypnotic day to day activities. Weeks went by - weeks grew into months. As our children change and grow with hardly any notice until we open our eyes one day realizing what has happened, so life went for me.
It wasn't until there was a midnight knock at my door that the trance was, for the time being, broken. A young policeman stood there relaying the news that my husband of almost 40 years had passed away of a heart attack. The quiet announcement fell on unbelieving ears at first and the question, "What?" seemed to be coming from me before I had time to think. Yes, he was gone and never coming back. Our last goodbye was at the airport when our daughter and I had seen him off on his way to a mining camp in the Alaskan bush only eight days before, on June 11th, 2009.
Though shock jolted me, at the same time I wasn't terribly surprised. My husband's health wasn't good. I knew that, and I also knew the only thing to be done was to acknowledge and move ahead. From that moment on, sadness, concern for the future, transportation and funeral arrangements, financial matters, and what seemed like a plethora of unending calls inundated my daughter and myself. It was almost as though a dark, billowing cloud had moved in overhead, punctuating our lives with bolts of lightening each time the phone rang. "What now?" we would ask ourselves as it screamed at us, not knowing what to expect next, nor what would be expected of us.
The funeral is behind us now. He is home beside his parents. Phone calls have slowed to non-existence from friends and family whom we hadn't heard from in years. The initial tide of activity has ebbed and the steady march of unpunctuated days is returning - day fading into night - night giving way to day, as I continually make efforts to find something meaningful to do to justify my existence, and to stave off boredom and subsequent insanity.
And so it is, I'm here writing again, though at this time, I'm not certain of how or when I will find more to add in the way of future posts. Most of my time has been spent on my new "Zazzle" store with hopes my work will be well received.
I will close now with best wishes going out to anyone and everyone who has so kindly stopped by to read this. Thank you! 'Til later ..........
http://www.zazzle.com/granny_pats_gifts*
